BUDGET

A notepad and pen, open mind and discipline will be required for this passage. To continue allow us to listen, too one another in what is missed in the monthly budget.

Maybe this time we can discuss in reasoning what is being missed, of expectations in the both of us.

 This time the woman is not inquiring about do you love her or not, but this time it is the man who is willing to share with her; about how he feels unappreciated in love, not communicated with & often misunderstood, because of his own inner struggles.

For the both of us time will progress; showing us how much we do miss, in our monthly budgets.

 “a spiritual foundation, a mental connection & a physical desire”, keeps the fire burning. Then how can we better prepare ourselves in these areas, we forever need of the both of us in work?

The significance of this entry is to reflect on the details in our daily plans. To ensure we collectively understand that what is being added or subtracted in one another, equals to the path we will find ourselves; of being alone or together. In a budget that is waiting to be communicated.      

Coffee II

How often did I show you at breakfast time how “you were to me, my morning coffee”. And when did I not make you feel 10 feet. tall, although I knew you were only a 6‘1 man, with a broken heart & spirit.

Today I wonder will time erase our memories, because I knew in my heart “I deserved” more than what I settled for. From a man who did not know how to receive support and give back real love. It's unfortunate a woman's love is deeper than we judge.

Did I tell you enough “I got you through any storm, as long as you grow-up, and don’t run away”. And that night do you remember holding my hand “in prayer”, knowing who I am  that you were not prepared to be that man. I waited on in this lifetime, of what we have left in.   

Remember when you invited me on our last trip, you called until I responded. It was always this way, because I had something you definitely needed. A listening ear and solid direction. I knew then before answering, it would be me taking this last and final call from you. Now who will you run to?  

Woman we are not perfect, neither do we possess all the answers. We may never understand “WHY”, it had to happen. But count on this; a blind man can see a female with Tweety bird, thinking. A seeing man understands when he takes for granted; a good woman.

So, back to you and how far do rise? Above the  heartache you created over so many years. And who was there with no hesitation when that morning call came through? Then later who called with the worst news? When pride interferes with peace, people loose in  each other.  Now who will you run back and forth too, seeking in answers to be validated & rescued? 

On this last page of our life story, with no pun intended I buried the real truth once I heard it. The sad part is in a passage of time it would be the woman you love in your life to share with me their individual stories. Which I will keep buried. So now the truth is out. Because of you. And when u look into her eyes as a man u are, let her not be weary another day to see real joy in your face. Now that you have to face your faith in finding your own peace.


Unfortunately in trying to  heal in our pain we take it out on people who really care.  We take time for granted when we should be better at appreciating and communicating. Over  those morning cups of  ☕, with  whom we  grown in life with.

Because of our choices who is right or wrong? On one hand we wrestle in our hearts with whom we are lonely if not growing with, and the other we plead with God to show us how to be in love with  who is not communicating. If not we seek in our own directions, to fix one another to be happy with.  

Arthur Unknown-"Be kinder than necessary because everyone you meet is fighting some kind of battle"

SHHH!

New chapters are waiting to be written. And today re-evaluations will be completed. Whether or not we move on to those new chapters in the stories of our life? We can only answer, to find internal peace.

Now that we know the differences in our right & wrongs. And in those rough times who is going to be sincere & loyal through real life storms. We do understand it may not always be that person with whom we started out with. So this time around we can expect more; in what we can make of possible.

No matter what decisions we come to in this moment. No matter what act brought us into this thinking moment. Things are required to happen. In order for us to see our own actions.♡

Plan to live a life you always dreamed about. Plan it with someone with the same VISION in a sound mind, if not by yourself. Believe there is a Life that has been waiting for your next move. Do not pause in regrets; thinking you can survive in fixing, brokenness of the past. Something new is required to see yourself in peace & happiness.

Shhh! Quiet as it is kept "Depression" has no make-up to cover it. However, boost your self-esteem All The Way UP..

#28

Forgiveness

One thing we can learn in denial is this; no person accepts accountability in their doing of anything wrong. Until it opens up; old wounds.

Most of the time our resentment stems from people who are no longer here. So we camouflage our happy faces with other people we search in for a feeling of completion. Because of the dead; can no longer answer to pain they left unanswered.

The purpose of this entry is; someone has hurt another person in this life. Whether it be a husband or wife. Relative, friend, sister & brother or companionship. Regardless of what they did. In your heart u forgave them. But in our minds we will never forget the reasoning behind; Why?

We all have broken pieces, to put together. And we can't control who we love and trust in that person, to put those broken pieces back together.

Therefore we must love ourselves first, to conquer any pain in this life. Although it is comforting to have support. But when the people that love you deny sharing with you what they see in both sides of wrong doing. More struggles will come. But what will happen in that day, family are friends are no longer around?

I possess a good nature. And I do have flaws. I see the good & challenges in all people. Including myself. I listen. I care to help. I don't seek to accomplish anything in retaliation. What is in us; eventually comes out of us. That's why we can share lessons in our struggles.

I heard a sister defend her love one. She said "I'm not God", I said "I'm not God either" so what do we expect of God. Since we have all the answers in one another?

The Ghetto & Poverty

Does the word Poverty separate us? Or do we separate ourselves because of the Poverty conditions, not all but some places people live in?

This is a topic we, us them must address. Or else people will assume someone else has to pay for their circumstances. When in actuality infrastructure & knowledge makes up the difference, even where our minds are conditioned. 

If we chose to live in better conditioned neighborhoods, do we require permission to improve our situations. People need to be educated about economics to better their families.

If we speak to one another in a different dialect; we could use that as a tool to educate our people on how "communication runs this nation". It does not mean some people are better educated, or even more intelligent. We need to learn from one another, what we do not comprehend. Not weight our egos against each other. In most cases people will choose to broaden their own world knowledge. And there are some people who play on an opportunity for tiny problems to turn into real world struggles.  

If you live in any-type of under-developed area across the  globe, let's not assume all people are comfortable. In a poverty environment or have a ghetto mind set. The stress of "infrastructure" can leverage any class of people. And however that community stands people will survive the best way they can.

In poverty every race of ghetto mindset exist. And the possibility of  adjustment is frightening to people who are not prepared of the not seen expectations. Anything of new requires a mindset change in you.

I will contest to being a recipient of government aid in my life. I lived in poverty with no gas, water, food or lights, all cut-off at one time. I’ve visited the prison & placed money on books. I witnessed what a mother does to feed her kids, I witnessed mad men  use their hands, on woman" And it’s not always good for the woman who have suffered with them in their hardships". I myself stood by a man whose “gang sign” was who he showed his loyalty”, a made up choice with options. I had my share of “female jumping’ with all hands, back then I rather had been respected, than be assumed to be anybody’s fool the next day” and through all that life experience it taught me this “opportunities come once in a lifetime, but survival is always required”. 

My friends often say "you think to in-depth". If they only knew tomorrow is already in motion, and the struggles they have never experienced will break them in areas they were confident. To me not all adversity is necessary. 

I no longer need to  hear the nightmares of 911 calls, domestic violence and robberies in the hood. Because of another brother has been killed, or either a sister being raped right across the street from me by her biological daddy.  In the ghetto there is a wired mindset. As in the upper class there is also a mindset. Where both mindsets re-connect in this life we live in of the real insanity. That has not healed from what I've seen in the 80’s, now in the new millennium,  of the same madness.  

We've all learned what a battle looks like. Therefore it's not required to argue about change, People represent or die everyday, not only to say "One day change will come" but how much must we lose. And who will  survive the ghetto-poverty state of mind. 

As the song writer wrote, TURN DOWN FOR WHAT. Poverty has never been a secret. The infrastructure continues to linger. And real People just never stop living in it.

-Angela L

A Woman's working Independence

"Woman must not depend upon the protection of man, but must be taught to protect herself.”

― Susan B. Anthony

What is this quote really saying in today’s society when a woman financially progresses in her career, social peers and learns to read and write. What affect occurs in today's society? For progressing in her own independence? Are is not fair to say "two heads are better than one, thinking"?

In today’s society woman have climbed the corporate and social ladders of success, through the acknowledgement of their experienced skills. Placing them in hierarchy positions, some even above the salary of men. In a time where Progression was contested through Prohibition for woman. 

“Where there is no increase in vision we cannot grow, where there is lack of new knowledge we hinder our own growth”. -Angel L

Woman have conquered many obstacles, over the years challenging the face of Prohibition days, by evolving in careers once argued to be accomplished only by men.  The skills woman once only related to were domestics and caring for the children. Until the 1920's changed our vision in history. Woman discovered their freedom in a new world of career opportunities.

A despairing thought in today's society is for a woman to have found her own independence, means she has forgotten her BC roll in the household. Or either the intimidation of her success places her in a place seclusion.

In a role, we all need to give respect to what one contributes, and respect earned to what one adds to. We are not in a competition of who  controls progression.

If there is only 1 pair of pants; then who created more than 1 pair to wear?

If there is only 1 paycheck that can stretch; then why is it more common we require two payroll checks to survive in a household shared?

If were going to practice living in BC times; then we need new knowledge to prosper plans we discuss amongst one another ?

We can discuss & continuously debate amongst one another; a woman's role in the household & the woman's career progression. We can debate her title and salary, we can create descriptions that fit a male type.

We eventually will except a woman's role has progressed in this life.  

Fathers Day

A truly rich man,  is one whose children that run into his arms when his hands or empty.

Happy Father's Day! To all Fathers who are here. And the Father's who left this life with tiny gifts to remind us of having a Father's love, patience & presence.