The Point of It All

Does it really take a fool to learn why love does not love nobody? Or does it take our personal experiences to cope with our emotions; of how we allowed ourselves to love someone?

Tomorrow our emotions will resurface, no matter how safeguarded we are in shielding that beating heart. And what was the point of it all; if we never had one chance to figure out why and who we chose to LOVE.  

A young girl in her 30’s said to me. I’ve lived a live not knowing. Until one day I understood what my heart was missing. I love my kids and myself. But for a while I did not understand how people used love so freely with living in one another’s false fantasies.  And what she was saying was “time does not choose who we want, time will show us what we need with that someone”, even when a fool feels lost. Life still gives him or her; a second chance.

A young man in his latter 40”s said “I love my wife and family”. And yes, this is my 2^nd marriage. But after 20 years with her, I can see clearly how she does not love me anymore. I said my brother have you tried to show her why “the fight you are not winning is because she is not by your side”.

I spoke to a widow and her & he both said, either you miss the mate or either you become ok at that point in your life. Sometimes in contentment you miss out on your own journey to finding happiness. And sometimes you get lucky to find the mate who will stand-up by your side. And even in death; either way the lesson still lives with the living.

I spoke with the woman in my life; who taught me how to love myself first. I spoke with the men in my life who taught me how to see through what a man is not saying to you. I learned from my personal experience with a man I loved for 20 years, who walked away but returned to say "once a youth and always a man afterwards, thank you for loving me. Even when I did not show you enough love back. I replied thank you for respecting "who" I will continue to be. 

I spoke with people who say love is over-rated or it was suppose to last a life-time. But if we had no emotions how would we have known it takes a fool; to learn love don’t love nobody. To continue in learning why; we continue in working so hard at love to get it right. 

Box

The problem with placing our dreams & gifts is a box. Is when we figure out; how we struggle to get out.

To have low moral or self-esteem the perception is that we could possibly fit in a small box of not having the potential to get out. And just in case that box is tilted and opens up; the real perception is some of us will not come out.

The song writer said "I'm living my best life". It's  apparent by his words that a box of any size is not equipped to hold him back.

If you are stuck in a box, understand the feeling of being trapped in your own thoughts.

I been a career minded girl since the age 9. I did not place my vision in a box. Even in those moments I could feel myself trapped. I knew eventually I would climb out.

Today I realized no matter what I do or where I go. There will be boxes all around me filled with people who are trapped, and not prepared to come out.

Attitude

Wisdom; is powerful. Knowledge; increases the threat. Negativity attracts; positive reactions.

How does any of this makes sense?

Ask yourself "how much do I give", then wait to see how much you are appreciated.

Ask for guidance; and follow a direction.

Ask for forgiveness; and wait on a remorseful action.

Ask for advice; then listen where to apply it.

Show some act of kindness; and watch who will show up, in another direction.

Show up on time; then make a mental note of who is always walking behind.

Stay committed; then watch who is loyal for more than a season.

Sacrifice is already knowing; who will show up or not. Loyalty is for every end or New beginning stay true to who you already; are.

Loyalty

Until we release what is still in our hands, we can’t receive the bigger plans.

While attending several events over the weekend, I observed people observing each other. And that’s when things started to happening.  

·        I did not forget about that friend that attempted to take his life.

·        I did not forget about the family who lost everything in that house fire.

·        I did not forget the love that found me 13 years ago, because of time we both needed to grow. Funny how life is; who knew that one of us would be the strength. For the both of us to pick back up on what never ended; of our understandings & communication.  

·       I did not forget about the choices I have made in my life. To end up listening and watching people who were watching me. To find some understanding.

·        I did not forget that friend who lost his or her love one.

·        I did not forget who has the minimum to live, and the married couples who are struggling to figure it out; of forgiveness.

·      While watching one another we gained confidence in what was hindering us, so this time when the parties ended, and secrets were shared and the feelings were over flowing. We realized our struggles are the same. Our smiles don’t have to be temporary. Our choices will occur. And trials are inevitable.

I could say I lost a lot in this life, but that would mean we are not perfect human beings. Listen to this "if it were not for us hurting one another, we could not heal together", and if we don’t give up on a good fight; eventually life will make those wrongs turn into our rights.  

See you on the next, page of life...
Angela L. 

Battlefield

Live your life without a question mark over your walk.  I write the broke in all ways, laughter, heartache and pain. I own of my scars, and watched while walking through with many of you, in your own battles. 

While you were in the fire; I was tried under fire in my own trenches. But time did not always allow me to break bread without shedding some tears. So yes, I'm guilty of respecting the Bible. At times been said too smart for my own good. And on top of that people will shut you down on whether I am a good damn person verses their own intensions. Now that we have me established; let's move on to the next chapter or conversation. 

On any day ask "why" share so much of yourself? I will smile as always and say “if we knew for every good deed we do "in return". Would earn a $1.00. would we, us are them be on our best behavior? Because time will remind all of us why our situations make us more than often; feel defeated. 

Sacrifice is free, patience comes with time, and victory is my focus. So I carry it as my weapon. I got it nobody is perfect. But hell raisers also appear in a "pleasant or well kept package." 

Many of us use our "hands without a thought through plan",  "some of us are bold in picking our battles, because often it was brought to us, for no reason. Either way we've seen men, children and woman die. On both sides of the contested argument. But at the end people are going to do and be what they see fit; to do.

This year taught me a valuable lesson; a mother said be careful in where you go. I respected this mother because we grew close.  And I shared  in respect "mom" every one has to also accept "accountability of their right and wrong doings. So every battle is not a title of fault, we often bring our battles to other people. In the end I will add this to my life lessons and continue forward with a smile. The moral is family belongs to us, not all of their battles we can conquer. However, people remember where & when by whom you are invited into each other's lives. So more than half of the time; we have to be prepared for the battles that come with them; unjudged and of the invited by invitation.

Choose your battles wisely, not everyone is on neutral waiting for your fist fight. Sometimes good is waiting for you just to do; right. 

Time is all we have. Try to enjoy every moment of it.

Thank you all for reading this Blog. I must admit HOW the journey is eye opening. And if you’re willing to take small steps on the next pages; together. If not respect the departures. So humanity can mend those small; battles with human integrity. To learn to respect; each other's personal space & boundaries. 

-Angel L Arthur

Relationships

People talk about money over love; but without human appreciation either one will cause; pain & disrespect. Either we be more honest about where we are, not what we are waiting around on; to come. 

We are taught to be married "until death do us apart", no one ever prepared us for lesser than a comfort level, trust & not meeting all expectations that come with trials and test. To figure out we need more time to grow-up, even more in marriages starting in the stages of relationships.

But if you have managed to find the special ingredients in your relationships; of layering the heavy duty bricks on a solid foundation, secure of the willingness to communicate & forgive, and capable to encourage one another through the struggles; this passage is not meant for you. Be the example for other people who are struggling with one another to make it through; what is possible if both parties desire to see it through.

No pun intended cheating is a phrase we use to give the guilt a title; as human beings we will continue in seeking the (missing) inside us. Until we figure out how to fight our own internal battles with the support of family. They just can't decide for us our choices. So when married couples mention a Divorce then how do Single people get involved in relationships with married people, and congregating without your mate with other married people; does not make the title change? We are all  searching to be completed with someone who is capable of giving us what we need. And in the event all parties involve live with the burdens and hurt. Before we make a move to either work on our issues then discover the reason for staying is attached to the Title.

Single is a state of being, without or with someone to share a common space, prayers, families, investments, interest and ideas. No different than married people who either share all or a few of these committed establishments. We all get it. But what is it about finding

Time: to look inside of what we have or not.  

Progress: in what we are growing towards are not.

Growth: that either ties us together or stresses us back apart. Every couple has their own scenario, but almost 99.9% it is the same challenge we all deal with; money-money, feeling unappreciated, bored-loneliness-illness in the relationship, age and death, finding change that makes us happy without giving up the years of invested misery. And sometimes just having you is not enough it’s gets deeper. Why

Time: requires the both of our attention to check-in; no one else has the answers to unlock what we are missing physically, mentally and spiritually. We both have to be available to communicate these feelings. 

Progress: is made with another person & in our self’s. Taking more time to figure that out alleviates who get's what of the (tangible stuff), either way it's a humbling, cold or bitter place.  

The Level of Growth we have gained from our lessons and just knowing who we are; to no longer settle for anything other than what adds to our; values.

So no Single people or not lonely,  Married people are forever trying; and fear it what confuses everything. Because not every person or choice of mate is meant or capable of staying with you. You both have to decide how to FIGHT, or either prepare to LET GO of what has not grown. 

Black Butterfly

Freedom cries but no one is listening, to admit why the men, woman and children seek to be free of  the internal fear we use to keep; the fight brewing. 

Freedom a state of being. Freedom is not living in a state of restrictions & confinement; unless we agree and invest into it. 

Freedom is what we feel not afraid to be. Fear a feeling that drives any human being into a panic of anxiety to over shadow the freedom of  another human being.

Freedom is it based on vulnerability, boundaries and bullying and if so what is the motive in it that drives a fueled state of mind?

Freedom is it living fearlessly among one another, without confusion. Fear what it is that causes people so much hindrance; that it's not recognized of how an action turns into being held captive?

Freedom the restless argument in tempored cases. But not all cases have answered back to why; human acts of vague patience consistently interrupts another's preservation of life. 

Freedom is the case we argue, restitution is what we seek to be of free. Life is where we assign the judge & jury; to find equal answers to why we are restricted to being FREE in this life.  

 A dictionary utilized to define words.  A cause is identified to examine the effect. A female gives birth  
through her womb. A male contributes of his genes and  generational pigmentation. And the argument will continue to be; how much of this is of accuracy?


One day Freedom rang; with no guarantees of who and what kind our choices would be made in finding humanity's peace on ONE page. 

And if you assume this is about one situation. Think again, and take some accountability in our weary human ways of how we all got here; just not on ONE page.