I've embellished many successes and intimate moments in my life.
I've dealt with many hardships. I've healed from a broken heart and
disappointment with time. I've learned to release and let go of what is not
within my CONTROL.
I've learned if you take on leadership in any situation to
always listen & be patient. Why, because there will be challenges not
limited to religion in your life, where some religious people are
destined to prove you're not strong enough to spiritually fight.
So when I look back over my life I can identify with dysfunction
& logic, dignity & courage, wisdom & confidence and mistakes
and choices. When I think about people whom I have allowed into my space; some
lied, some stayed fake and others showed their ass before slithering away. And
in return a valuable lesson is what I have learned; no matter what age you are
there will be times you will walk alone until a sincere hearted person comes
along.
Sometimes being responsible comes with many burdens. Just like being the eldest or the youngest come with high expectations of understanding nonsense but what maybe of another person’s logic. But when you see the brokenness in a parent, child or guardian's life there is something that must be corrected, regardless of who feels REJECTED, because we can't all live healthy lives and continue to stay BROKEN inside.
Sometimes being responsible comes with many burdens. Just like being the eldest or the youngest come with high expectations of understanding nonsense but what maybe of another person’s logic. But when you see the brokenness in a parent, child or guardian's life there is something that must be corrected, regardless of who feels REJECTED, because we can't all live healthy lives and continue to stay BROKEN inside.
When I think about how people pretended to have my best interest
not limited to strangers but family, associates and friends who showed their
true face when I decided to control my space and walk out on FAITH. To travel
and blog about Humanity or simply become "fed up"
with living a life of INSANITY.
When I think about struggling financially but not giving into
the Worldly ways is when those few friends wait arrogantly just to find a
reason to deny me. And to give some clarity some people will help you just to
see what return they can get out of you. Then we wonder why situations and
people do not change, where we choose to remain the same.
When I think about being a single mom from the day my son was
born. I was destined to see him succeed find himself build a relationship with
God before anyone else. I trained my seed to mentally fight and in his father’s
gene he inherited concrete knowledge of the worldly politics of being a young
man. Who had no choice but to graduate with a plan.. I encouraged work but just
enough to keep him responsible and focus to walk across that stage; no drugs,
no warrants and thank God no case. I planned his course in different states to
travel and select a college plan is when he settled down and progressed in
becoming his own man. Until one day he realized mom was no longer holding his
hand, is when he ventured into the friends and the worlds plan. Thank God for
grace & mercy in planting good seeds, kept my house, body and life disciplined,
spiritual and clean. So whatever life brings his way I can rest assure the God
I've always served will protect & guide him the rest of the way.
I remember seeing an old friend who I met years ago in New
Orleans, a perfect gentleman. Until years grew us apart is when we both
realized in one night the things we did in our youth one of us is still trying
to hold onto. Unfortunately even if the love is deep time is not on my side to
reverse back to my old life.
I remember having tons of girlfriends in my life traveling was
my past time. Is when I realized some women share common interest, some
disclose jealously and the rest, unnecessary competition.
I remember in my twenties I met a slight mature man. And what I
mean was his "diligent nature and conversation" but what my body
ignored in my mind, I shyly said yes to his mission of advances. But deep in his
eyes I knew I would never be his wife. I remember counting as the years went
bye and one day I let go of this girlish pain. Then came a new connection
but excluded the sex for genuine friendship. And this time in this Man's eyes
he was missing something inside but it was not a settled down wife. I know the
question is then why? And the answer is in my life lessons what I've learned is
no matter what stage and age were in a Man's choices is where his heart is.
Regardless of a woman's commitment just always listen to hear whether he say's
and actually does it "I see myself building a life with you" forever
and always. Eventually one man married and both celebrated births to carry
on their legacy, something I had no regrets to relive what was already given to
a man in my early twenties. Sometimes our choices are small reminders of why things
happen for a reason. And although these women share giggles today these two men
carry their truth of knowing; I will forever be engraved in their life journey.
I've watched people struggle to deal with themselves because of
attempting to fix something or someone else.
So the
moral to this passage is the next time God opens up a window in your life do
not wait on another person’s delay. Simply pursue your own Destiny.
